


The Prince of Darkness and Resurrection

by FairyNiamh



Category: Naruto
Genre: AO3 1 Million, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Writing & Publishing, Anal Sex, Bad Decisions, Bad Writing, Explicit Language, First Time Bottoming, Friends to Lovers, Humor, M/M, Mind Games, Oral Sex, Out of Character, POV First Person, Sexual Humor, Trope Bingo Round 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-16
Updated: 2014-02-16
Packaged: 2018-01-12 16:13:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1191489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FairyNiamh/pseuds/FairyNiamh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The greatest trick Iruka ever played, was convincing Naruto that he wasn’t evil in the first place.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Prince of Darkness and Resurrection

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Drivven Labyrinth (DrivvenWrinth)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrivvenWrinth/gifts).



> Part of this story contains VERY bad writing. It is intentional and as homage to the nightmare story known as My Immortal by: xXMidnightEssenceXx (Google and read it at your own risk. No, I do not recommend ANYONE read it. Yes, it has been confirmed as a bad Troll Story.)
> 
> To skip the 'bad' writing skip _(Any PaRt betwEEn Parentheses and is Italicized)_ Just trying to save an IQ. 
> 
> Please note: All of the story will not be that bad. Contains _slight_ character bashing. (Kind of.)

In all the 21 years of my life I never thought that I might ever have to do such a thing; it was a tragic day indeed. I had to plan the funeral for my _Little Brother_. I never thought that would come a day when he would be gone. As a young man I just took for granted that, he would always be there. Still, I had no idea how to go about planning a funeral; I couldn’t imagine I would lose someone so close to me. I was too embarrassed and grief stricken to just go up to someone and ask. You would think they would have a book or a pamphlet for something like this. Well, I guess since they don't I will write one up, maybe.

I blame Kakashi, Iruka, and that pink-haired bitch for his death. If it hadn't been for those three I am sure I would still wake up and see a happy _Little Brother_ every morning.

I went to several people, female and male… to beg them to help me bring him back to life. Not a single one of them could revive him. Tsunade Baa-Chan has forbidden me from killing those three murders. Sometimes, I really hate her.

Huh? Who is _Little Brother_ and how did he die?

*sighs* Sit, please. Sit with me and listen to my sorrowful tale of woe. It is truly a tragic tale of torture, pain, and loss.

Now then, where should I start? I suppose I should start where the true torture and pain began.  
It was a Thursday, hmm a few weeks back I would say. I discovered a truly shocking secret. Iruka, my most revered and pure (or so I thought) sensei; possessed an assumed name. He went by _Magical Tickles_ on the ninjanet and wrote many of my favorite, Icha-Icha fan fiction stories. I never thought to put the men from those books together before reading ‘Magical Tickles’ stories.

I certainly had never suspected him. Kakashi yes. Iruka? Never in a million years. He always seems so shy and often blushes about the silliest little things. In fact, it was because I suspected Kakashi that I found out the truth. The day before I confronted him, Kakashi that is and begged him for more stories; he told me he wasn't the author. Then he confessed to knowing who the author really was.

I was overjoyed and begged him to tell me. However, my joy was short lived. Of course, once he told me it was Iruka, I didn't believe him. Would you have believed him? No, I didn't think so. Still, Kakashi insisted and told me about a hidden hatch (yeah right), under Iruka's bed.

The next morning, this would be Friday – in case you lost track; I hid outside of Iruka's house waiting for him to leave for the day. Wow, was that the most boring hour of my life. Still, I survived it and as soon as he left, I slipped in through a window and went in search of the hatch.

You must understand, I didn't believe Kakashi. I only went there to prove him wrong and then I would find, corner, and demand more stories from him. To my horror not only was the hatch there, but some published and unpublished works were there as well.

 _HOW_ could he be the writer? _WHY_ was he the writer? My pure, sweet, innocent illusion of my precious Iruka was shattered into a million tiny pieces, maybe more. Yes, some of the stories were truly sweet and innocent enough to give you cavities; but most of them were some of the hottest/dirtiest stories I had ever laid eyes upon.

Lady Luck has never been on my side and that day she proved just how much she really hated me. How you ask? Well it seems that Iruka was off work that day and had only stepped out for groceries. _HEY_ , sit back down I haven’t finished my tale yet. It's fixing to get to a really, _really_ , bad part.

Yes, you guessed it. He caught me reading the stories. You know, it sounds impossible considering our history; but I have never seen him that mad before. Personally, if _I_ had wrote such epic porn, I wouldn’t be able to stop boasting about them. Why keep such an amazing talent hidden away from the world?

Sorry, wild tangent moment there. Anyway, I must say that the punishment did not fit the crime, not at all. Here is what went down:

 _"What are you doing here?"_ the brunette man challenged angrily.

"Hehehe, Iruka-sensei. What a surprise! I thought you were off to work. They didn't fire you did they?" I dissembled. When in doubt, remember tactic number one: distract your opponent with useless nonsense.

"I asked you a question." He tapped his foot and glared at me. I wasn’t afraid though. Well, not too awful afraid that is.

If tactic number one fails, go directly to tactic number two: Misdirect your opponent; "Eh, well that is I thought I might have left a slipper here when I slept over last month. I looked all over my house for it and then remembered I had it here. So, I came over after looking everywhere else, I ended up looking under the bed.

I noticed a loose board, when I went to fix it there were all these papers under there. I thought maybe you lost some school papers, so I brought them out to put them - eh, Iruka sensei what are you doing?" Okay, so misdirection doesn't work in every situation. Boy, do I wish it had worked.

"I’ve no idea who told you about this, nor do I want to right now. No, right now I think you need to be taught a lesson about snooping in other people’s private matters," he hissed while grabbing my arm and dragging me to the kitchen.

I must have been super slow that day, because I never once thought to run. No, instead I thought 'Yay Ramen'. Crappy mind lulling me into a false sense of security. If it wouldn't kill me, then I really would kill it. Not that Iruka didn't try to do just that.

He roughly tossed me into the chair; no it still didn't register in my brain did not see the danger. When he tied my torso and legs to that chair, I thought ‘No worries’. Yes, I did fully register that I was in deep shit at that moment. Just not how deep. I’ve been in deep shit before, I figured it would be ok.

"Since you seem to like reading so much I have some reading material for you. You will read every word of this story out loud," Iruka hissed as he thrust some papers at me.

'HEY ALL RIGHT. I get to read his material aloud. Hehehe no problem. It's not like I didn't read some of them out loud before. Shoot, I had read some of them so many times I could recite them by heart. I like this punishment,' I stupidly thought.

Damn, I wish I could beat myself half to death for those thoughts. What he brought me to read wasn't one of his wonderful stories. Oh no, that would have made me too damned happy. It was one of ‘Ruff dimond’s’ works. In the past, I tried, only once; to read that author's fan fiction. That single four hundred-word chapter that I somehow managed to read through was enough for me to swear that author and his/her stories off forever.

"There is no way in hell I am going to read that shit. No, you can't make me. It's too cruel." I frantically replied.

"I told you I was going to teach you a lesson and I am. Now read or I will stop writing altogether." The bastard obviously knew of my weakness.

"Not fair. Please Iruka, don't make me do this. Please. You know this author is notoriously awful." Ok so when misdirection fails, try tactic number three: begging and appealing to their softer side. I still believed he had one.

"Now," Iruka warned menacingly.

Right, note to self: an angry Iruka has no softer sides.

My lips quivered and my hands shook with true, yes very true, fear. I hesitantly cleared my throat and began my trip of horror.

" _('a chinobi's tail ov luv.')_ No more please. Please. I'm begging here. I'll come to the school and work with the little hellions for a year. I'll even grade the papers. Anything but this." OK so I'm a coward in the face of very badly written literature. Aren't you?

"I'm wai-ting," he sing-songed to me. Damn him for knowing all of my weaknesses.

_"('high my nam iz Shara Meekaroo nd im a bootyfull goffik chinobi. peeple tink dat I ma a site too beehold. my hare is lung it cums don to my nees and I ware all blak. on day I wuz hunt a mizzin nin nd I stubled acors te most handsum men I hav eber saw.')”_

“OK Iruka this isn't even funny anymore. I mean it. Please don't make me read anymore. My brain is melting here." No I had not given up on begging. It is a tremendously awful fiction after all. You agree with me don't you?

"Keep going." OK, so Iruka is officially the cruelest person I know. He needs to give Ibiki some interrogation and torture tips.

I felt tears start to roll down my cheeks as I continued:

_"('he fel n luv wit me wen he see me. pleez tel me ur nam. he beg me Chapter 2 a/n stop flaming me shara is nit a sue. I wil nit updat agin until u giv me god revoiws.: I wuz n luv wit hiz voce. I want to hav sex wit him rite away. I tole him dis and we stated rite away. he pull out his thingie and put it in my you no whare.')”_

“NO MORE. I can't take it anymore. This shit has cut my IQ in at least half. I swear it has." See, I told you the punishment didn't fit the crime. No one deserved to be tortured that way. Well, except Sasuke-Teme maybe.

"Naruto." he growled.

"NO. I really can't take any more of her ‘Mary Sue’ crap. DAMNED THAT KAKASHI." I screamed as tears, quite literally, ran down my face.

"How is this about him?" the evil villain catechized while tilting his head.

YES. I saw a new way out I hoped. When all else, fails try Tactic number four: lay the blame on someone else's doorstep when/if you are allowed to. I quickly told him everything and prayed that my punishment was over. If it wasn't I swore I would find a way to slit my wrists with my teeth. Death would be preferable to reading anymore of that dribble.

"So it was Kakashi who told you and you actually believed him? For all you know I'm only holding them for him," the vile bastard suggested to me with a curious look on his face.

"Whatever, may I please go? I need to find out if it's possible to erase my memory, stat. I swear if I ever find out who ‘Ruff Dimond’ is..." He must think I am an idiot. I know his damned handwriting.

"I know who she is. Shocking really. When I found out I cried for a week. Never in a million years would I ever suspected her," Iruka replied honestly. I could tell he was being honest because he had that far away sad look in his eyes.

"Tell me. I need to let her know exactly what I think of her stories. I'll kill the Literature Terrorist. I still find it hard to believe that such a person exists. Wait maybe that's why they are so bad they don't exist. They are already dead and are writing from beyond the grave and OK that's stretching it too far. Hmm alien perhaps? What do you think?" Yes, I do tend to ramble a lot.

"Why don't you tell me what your Pen Name is Naru-Chan?" Iruka inquired with a creepy purr.

"I don't have one. I am a _reader_ not a writer. The one piece I did write no one would believe anyway." I swear the man is a psychic mind reader or something.

"So what is it?" Iruka repeated the question again, unfazed by my misdirection.

"I said you wouldn't believe me if I told you." The damned man was being so persistent. It's not like I am actually proud of what was written and it was so long ago.

"Tell me or read more," Iruka threatened me and my sanity.

"Jiraiya." I know I gave in way too easily but damn it all the thought of having to read more of that crap scared me.

"What about him?"

"That would be the name I wrote under." See, no one believes that I’ve written. I'm not as stupid as some people seem to think.

"Jiraiya what?"

"Just Jiraiya. Look you know the Icha-Icha Paradise Long Lost Book that came out after his death?" I challenged him.

"Yeah, it was really popular, but to be honest I felt that it was one of his earlier works. It wasn't up to par with most of his books," the man informed me while scrunching up his nose.

"That would be because an impatient thirteen year old wrote it," I informed him with a roll of my eyes.

"Cute Naruto, really cute. Now tell me the truth." Sometimes telling the truth just causes more trouble for me.

"Look, I would tell you to go and ask him yourself, but that would be kind of hard seeing how he's dead. I know maybe you can get an Ouija board and find out that way. Told you that you wouldn't believe me." Shallow and low of me, I know. Still it felt somewhat good to get it off my chest. I’d held that secret for eight years and now of course I'm hasn’t believed.

"Wow, that actually makes sense," Iruka frowned thoughtfully while raising his eyebrows. Jeez just because the words Icha-Icha are on a book they automatically think Jiraiya wrote the crap and yes, it was crap. What the hell do you expect out of a thirteen year old? Perfect literature? I think not.

"Fine, please untie me and let me go now." I still needed to set up an appointment to beg Tsunade to erase my memory.

"You still want to know who ‘Ruff Dimond’ is?"

He was baiting me, I knew he was. Still I needed to know, so I slowly nodded. I need to expose this person to the public, so that those who’ve been injured by the horrendous writing could get revenge on her or it. I'm still leaning towards the whole alien theory myself.

"Fine here is the deal. You tell Kakashi that you wrote the last book and I'll tell you who she is," he bargained while untying me.

"That's it? That's all you want me to do?" Oh, this would be the easiest and yet hardest task yet.

"That's it. You see that happens to be his favorite out of all of the Icha Icha books. I think that it would be very funny to see his face when he realizes it was written by his ex-student instead of the man himself."

"You won't make me tell anyone else, will you?"

"No, I don't want people accusing you of plagiarism, even if that kind of is what it was. Well actually I think it was more a case of you being young and stupid," Iruka said while looking at his nails.

"Well it's not like I ever thought it would be brought out to the public eye. So you want me to bring him back here and tell him?"

"Nope, no worries, I will know and see when/if you tell him. Oh and Naru-Chan if you try to skip out on this deal. What happened to you just now well it will seem like heaven."

That bastard was smiling _SMILING_. He is the true Prince of Darkness. He lulls you into a false sense of security then attacks all of your weak points. I didn't want to contemplate what could be worse than what had just happened. I wanted to get this over with and tell Kakashi as quickly as possible and wouldn't you know it the asshole was away on a mission. According to Baa-Chan I would be required to wait four days before he came back.

It was three days of pure hell. I would catch the Prince of Darkness, whom I started to secretly call PoD, out of the corner of my eye periodically. On the third day, a copy of that horrible fan fiction was pasted to my front door.

Damn the man was impatient. It's wasn’t like I could just chase Kakashi down while he was on his mission. It was dangerous and unprofessional, not to mention that I didn't know what the mission was. So I couldn't hunt him down. I knew that Iruka knew he was on mission and was just torturing me for no reason other than that he could. How could he not know? He worked in the missions’ office. The bastard probably knew all of this before he set me on that task.

I didn't really sleep that night. I jumped at every noise and hell I was justifiably afraid. Therefore, I got out of bed and waited by the west gates hoping that it would be the direction Kakashi would be coming home and that he would come home early.

Yet again Lady Luck fucked me right up the ass without the courtesy of stretching or lube. Kakashi came in through the east gate I know; I know: _'Why didn't you use kage bunshin?'_ Simple answer, Iruka. That man had me so stressed out that I couldn't even think properly. Besides, it would have given him more targets to destroy mentally and physically.

Now I know what else you are thinking: _'How does that make Lady Luck fucking you over?'_ Well, the fact that I found out from the PoD himself, might have something to do with it. I had _innocently_ fallen asleep in the tree while waiting for Kakashi, give me a break here I was tired; and that that evil man woke me up by blowing in my ear. Of course, that made me nearly fall out of the tree I was resting in.

"Careful now, I don't want you to hurt yourself Naru-Chan," Iruka purred with an evil grin and an eviler look in his eye.

"Only so you can kill me later." I grumbled at him.

"Naru-Chan I'm hurt. I would never kill you," the PoD claimed a false pout. I know it was false because I could see the mischief in his eyes. That and he's a sadistic bastard.

"Right, only torture me," I told him while looking to the gates for a sign of Kakashi.

"Not all torture is bad you know; and if you're looking for Kakashi he came in through the East Gate. Sorry looks like you missed him," Iruka said as he eyed me up and down.

"Kuso." Really, there was nothing intelligent to say to that. What would you say to it? Nothing? I didn't think so. I took off to find the one person who could end my misery only to be stopped cold when the PoD by wrapped his arms around my middle. I swear it felt like he was hugging me. Creepy in a good 'I wanted stay there' kind of way.

"I forgot to tell you something Naru-Chan," he whispered in my ear.

"What?" I asked as I slumped in defeat. OK so I was kind of, but not really, happy to stay in his strong arms a bit longer. No, I really mean, not really. Why are you looking at me that way? Che whatever.

"You need to make sure Kakashi believes that you wrote that book." Iruka nuzzled my ear as he spoke.

"WHAT? You didn't say that at the beginning." talk about a mood killer. See, I told you he was the Prince of Darkness. I was excited about the torture fixing to be over and he dumps that on my lap.

"I know, but you were taking soooo long that I decided to add to it. Besides where is the fun in it for me if he doesn't believe you?" he asked while slowly rubbing circles on my stomach. The seal on my stomach began to tingle deliciously beneath his hand.

"And just how am I supposed to make him believe me? Hold a séance and make Jiraiya tell him? Hell, it was a miracle _you_ believed me." I replied incredulously. I mean come on; even you have a hard time believing that I wrote a book right?

"Not my problem. Now off you go Naru-Chan," Iruka laughed at me as he grabbed my ass and squeezed.

"Asshole," I muttered as I took off happily. The only reason I was just happy to get away because the PoD appeared to be drunk. He would have to be drunk to grab my ass. Right? Yeah, that's what I thought.

So there I was running around all over Konoha trying to find the perverse ninja and having rotten luck. It took me half the day to finally find him in his apartment. I know I should have checked his place first, but in all honesty; I didn't know where he lived. I found out from Guy after he spouted off about youthfulness and enduring glaringly bright smiles for more than a half an hour.

One of these days, someone should really tell him and his scary clone that it's unnatural for human teeth to shine like that, not that the ‘youthful’ freaks would listen to you. Wild tangent again, sorry.

Where was I? OH right, I found Kakashi. So, I knocked on his door and waited… and waited and waited a bit more. You must understand I wasn't really the most patient of people before the PoD, and at that point in time. After I waited about ten minutes, give or take five minutes - all right so it was only five minutes, I was tired of standing around and went around the building looking for an open window. Hell, for all I knew with how often the man uses windows, he might not even know what a door is.

So, I took off to the back of the building and started to walk up the walls. Being a ninja is great especially when your target lives on the third floor. I finally arrived at my target’s bathroom window and low and behold, he was there sitting on the toilet. I gulped and took a deep breath before trying to open the window. Yes, this was a dangerous move but the PoD was even more dangerous.

The window must have been oiled recently; as it flew open with the least little nudge. I discovered exactly why Kakashi wore that facemask _and_ was single. Sweet heavens above! The wall of stench that hit me was worse than even me at my worst. It was so bad that it made me forget that I was a trained ninja for all of thirty seconds. Those thirty seconds was long enough for me to plummet to the earth.

I saw stars and gasped at the fresh clean air. All I could do was lie there trying to decide what would be safer for me; if the PoD found me laying around or an irate Kakashi got me first? Actually, at that point, I truly did not care. Just so long as no one dragged me into Kakashi’s bathroom, I was sure I could survived anything else.

I swear to Kami I will never take fresh air for granted again. Hmmm, perhaps I should suggest that to Ibiki as a torture method. No, that was just too cruel. It wasn’t in my nature to be that cruel. How did Kakashi’s neighbors survive? At one time I had looked into moving into this very building, but the owner didn’t want to rent to the demon… thank kami for small miracles.

I had no idea how long I sprawled there before a scowling Kakashi was standing over me. The memory of the smell had me quickly covering my mouth and nose while moving as far away as I could without losing sight of him. I'm pretty sure that if the PoD was really watching, he was laughing his cute little ass off.

"That's what you get for entering without knocking." Kakashi frowned, giving off a disgruntled vibe. At least I think he was disgruntled, you can never really tell what he was thinking. Unless it was murderous rage, then he got this line between his eyes and… sorry, back to the story.

"Why the hell didn't you use that on Zabuza when you fought him? Even better question; why didn't you use it to knock Sasuke senseless so he could never leave Konoha? He would have begged you for ass training. We could have, probably, made the Akatsuki surrender in a heartbeat if your farts are anywhere near as deadly as your shit. Please, tell me you had your ass registered as a lethal weapon." Even if earlier I had deemed that it was cruel, I still needed to know.

"None of them ever entered my bathroom that's why. Have you ever heard the phrase 'Piss in Peace and Shit in Silence'? Now then, what the hell was so important that you couldn't wait ten minutes?" the man asked with a slight blush across what I could see on his face.

 

I know it’s shocking isn't it? From Konoha's number one pervert, was blushing? Although maybe that title should go to Iruka now. Openly reading and discussing porn doesn't make him blush but make a comment on his bathroom behavior and he turns pretty pink. Ridiculous isn't it? Damn it, I need to stop these wild tangents or I will never finish this story. Now where was I again? Oh, right.

I quickly scanned the area and deemed it to be far too public for my liking. No, there wasn't anyone there, but there was a chance that someone could come by. A very high chance, and there was no way in hell I was going to drop this bombshell on Kakashi where someone else, besides the all-seeing PoD, might discover the truth. Although I did fear what it might take to convince him that I had written this man’s favorite piece of porn.

-

We made our way to training ground seven. I know ‘why not on top of the Hokage Mountain’, but let's be honest with each other here. It's _way_ easier to drag Kakashi to a training ground than to the top of a mountain, especially when he _doesn't_ want to be dragged anywhere in the first place. The man is as slippery as a damned eel when he wants to be. Besides, I would have more places to escape and hide if things took an ugly turn.

I looked around and saw no one other than my old sensei scowling hard enough to bring a thunderstorm. Which would actually have been welcome, it would’ve helped drown out my words.

"I must make a confession and lodge a complaint. First the complaint: why did you ever tell me about Iruka? Or at least, why didn’t you warn me of how sick and sadistic he was? I would never have peeked if you had warned me." Okay, I will admit right here and now. I was whining, but dammit, I had been subjected to torture of the highest caliber and it wasn't right.

Kakashi rolled his eyes at me. Then he informed me "I didn't know you were stupid enough to cross that line. You know how - publicly prudish he is. Did you expect him to just fess up to you?"

"Yeah, I know what a public prude he is, but I was kind of counting on him being a private prude too. Oh, and I did NOT expect him to just fess up. I did recon at his apartment."

"You got caught. Didn't you?" Kakashi questioned me with a fucking chuckle.

"Yeah, I got caught and now I am being punished. However, this is a two-person punishment. I told him that you were the blabber mouth," I stated him with a smirk. There was no way in hell I was going to sit in this sinking ship alone.

"What? Why in hell did you do that? Do you know what he's going to do to me?" Kakashi asked me in a hissed whisper.

I couldn't contain my smirk. "Yes, yes I do know his punishment. I know because your punishment is part of _my_ punishment."

Yeah, I am pretty sure I confused the poor man. He just stood there and scratched his head before telling me that he had no idea what I was talking about.

"Confession time. I wrote the last Icha-Icha book," I got it out quickly. I figured it was like taking off a Band-Aid. Do it quick and hope that the pain would quickly go away.

Kakashi stood there blinking at me, looked around the clearing, and then fucking frisked me. "What the hell?"

"Where is the hidden camera? Who put you up to this and why would you tell such vicious lies against Jiraiya? I thought you enjoyed having him as your teacher. He taught you a lot."

Crap, this wasn't going to be as easy as I thought it would be. “There are no hidden cameras. I swear, I really did come out here to confess about writing that damned book.”

"Right want to pull the other one?"

"I'm being honest here Kakashi. Damn it, what do I have to do to prove it?" I asked desperately.

"Look kid the guy who turned it in said he received it in the mail."

"Yeah, he received it in the mail as a peace offering nine years ago. Yes, I was a whole twelve years old when I wrote it. Yes, I regret writing the damned book, and I regret even more that the thing ever came out to the light of day."

"There is no way in hell _that_ was written by a twelve year old. Have you even _read_ it?"

"Yeah I read it, I WROTE it. Look, I'm sure that the publisher will let me see the original since I was the old fart's sole heir. We can just go there and you can SEE that it's in my handwriting. You DO remember my handwriting right?" I asked desperately. Hell it would get me out of Konoha and away from the PoD for a bit so I was all ready for a trip.

"You're being honest, aren't you?" Kakashi whispered with a look of horror on his face.

"No, I'm just blowing smoke up your ass for kicks. YES, I'm being honest! Do you want to take the trip or not?" Yes, I was angry with him, but hey, I was beyond frustrated at that point.

"But it was his best one," the nin sighed dejectedly. Honestly, you would think that I had kicked one of his dogs.

"Most people don't think so," I informed with a shrug.

"So, do you write fan fiction too?" he questioned me with a new twinkle in his eye that scared the crap out of me.

"No. Why should I when there are great authors like Iruka out there?" I asked honestly.

"But your writing style is sooo close to his. I think you would be great. You should start writing again Naruto," the deranged man said as he gripped my fucking shoulder in a vice-like grip. That shit hurt. I was also beginning to see why Iruka’d set this up. I knew that once Kakashi got an idea into that silver-haired head of his, he worked it like a dog worked on a bone.

"Look, I'm a reader, not a writer. Thanks for the vote of confidence though," I replied honestly while slowly getting out of his grip and backing away.

"Don't be like that Naruto. Come on, you don't even have to publish it to the ninja-net, just let me read it. I promise you; I am already a fan of our work." Kakashi grinned like a maniac while slowly making his way toward me. Was I scared? Fuck yes.

"Sorry." I yelled in a panic before turning on my heel and running for dear life.

That of course was the actual start of Little Brother's death. Kakashi began to pop up no matter where I went begging for fucking stories. Hell, Tsunade was getting such a kick out of it that she refused to send me, or the other two assholes, on any missions. She’s a sick and sadistic bitch, nearly as sadistic as PoD. I swore on all I hold holy and dear, if I lived through the ordeal I would find a way to make them all pay.

Now if Kakashi chasing me and Tsunade actually throwing the maniac in my direction wasn't enough, the PoD was also back to stalking me. I had actually gotten, kind of, used to him. Nevertheless, with the added pressure of Kakashi’s pursuit and ‘Ruff dimond’s horrid words still in my mind; well let's just say little brother died a swift and painful death. Painful because he died and because I honestly wanted to die as well.

I know you sat through this tale and you’ve, probably, been asking yourself ‘where is his little brother?’ I’ll give you a hint, Little Brother has _never_ physically left me and is working in every manner, but the one I want. He no longer becomes erect. Which is sad for me and several of my, now ex-lovers.

Hush, I can handle several lovers if I want. They all know about each other and now they know that they now should to depend on each other, because my Little Brother is no longer able to perform.

It was when I was sitting in my apartment, planning the funeral that the Prince of Darkness decided to come back into view. Meaning he pulled himself out of the shadows, he had been hauntingly waiting to come out and openly terrorize me again.

The man is a terror, a horror movie come true. A psychological thriller horror, but a horror none the less.

"Everything going well?" PoD asked nonchalantly as he played with his fingernails. All I could do was glare at him, because really, what was I to do?

"So aggressive. You need to lighten up a little. All this anger is not good for your health."

"Why do you think I'm so stressed out?" I hissed at him incredulously. The gall of that man.

The older man sighed and looked to the sky. "You're overreacting. None of this would have happened if you hadn't let curiosity get the better of you."

"Maybe if you didn't hide shit, I wouldn't snoop." Okay, I will admit that I'm acting like a sullen brat, but I was distraught about Little Brother; you understand.

"I'm a school teach Naruto. Do you know what that information could do to my reputation? Never mind that it holds no weight on my ability, it would affect _my_ reputation. Do you understand that your snooping could hurt me and my reputation?" he questioned me seriously. If I were to be honest, no, I never thought of it in that manner.

All I could do was hang my head in shame. Yes, I was insensitive to Iruka's life and I was sorry for it, but I don't know if I could’ve curbed my curiosity even knowing the consequences. I felt that I still had the right to feel some anger though because the punishment certainly did not fit the crime.

I was forced to read crappy stories. I was forced to tell Kakashi my secret (and the rat bastard was still stalking me). I lost all of my lovers, and the worst was the loss of little brother.

"I admit, I wasn't thinking about your reputation, but why would you hide that from me? The parents and shit, I understand. You didn't hide it from Kakashi, someone you hate, most of the time; but you didn't trust me. Do you know how much that hurts?" I pleaded. I needed to know.

I watched the man purse his lips and look to the sky. "I didn't tell Kakashi anything, he just found out; and I didn't tell you because I don't - didn't want to lose your respect."

I snorted at his words. Mostly because they were utterly ridiculous. "I never lost my respect for you. Hell, I don't think I could lose respect for you, unless you suddenly up and tell me you're into necrophilia. Wait, you're not into necrophilia are you?"

"I may have written it a time or two, but I never practiced it, and there is no desire to ever experience it," Iruka said to me with a visible shudder running through his body.

"Well, okay then. I doubt you will lose any of my respect. If anything, knowing about your 'dirty little secret' makes you more attractive." I couldn't lie to the man anymore, he needed to know that I was attracted to him.

"Do you find me attractive Naruto? Is that why you always pulled stunts like your Sexy no Jutsu? You know that I hold zero interest in the female form, but you did it to me anyway."

I rolled my eyes at the older man. I couldn't help it. "No, I pulled those stunts because I could, maybe because I was lonely. At that point my mind really was all about Sakura."

"So, what made you switch batting teams?" Iruka's eyes narrowed at me and I wondered what was playing through his mind.

I shrugged and honestly told him, "I kissed her and felt nothing. At the time, I thought I was just over my crush at last, so I kissed Hinata. She was sweet and she had her own crush on me. She felt something when she kissed me, I didn't. Her breasts were - they were too squishy for me. That's when I figured out that my crush on Sakura had little to do with her and more to do with her body type. Genma was the first man to kiss me."

"What?" Iruka hissed, obviously pissed at something. His anger was so great that I could feel it rolling off him.

"I’d just turned 18 and got drunk on the sly. When I confessed that I might like men... well, he came up to me and kissed me. Kami, it was everything that I had been hoping kissing Sakura would be like. He wouldn't let it go further than a kiss, but I enjoyed it and knew that I should look to men for my - dalliances," I confessed to him. I could feel my nerves gathering in my stomach, but I wasn't sure why. Why was what Iruka thought of my sex life so damned important? It wasn't like I had kept a low profile these past few years. I was loyal to no man and all my lovers knew it.

"Huh, no one ever told me. So, who popped your cherry?" he asked me bluntly. Which was a bit shocking for me.

"Shikamaru let me fuck him. I must’ve done a good job because he always came back for more, hell; all the men always came back for more." I couldn't understand Iruka's sudden interest in my sex life, but it was a bit, disconcerting.

Iruka narrowed his eyes at me and stepped closer making me even more nervous. "Who was the person to fuck you for the first time?"

I shook my head. "No one, no one has wanted to. They take one look at my size and automatically want me to fuck them. Konoha is filled with size queens."

"What if I wanted to fuck you? Would you let me fuck you Naruto? Would you let me spread your ass wide open with my tongue and fingers, before I put my cock in your ass to fuck you slow and gentle? Well, with the slow and gentle I guess it's not actually fucking. Would you let me make love to you?" he asked me as he came closer.

Hearing Iruka talk like that did, admittedly, make little brother twitch. My breath quickened, I started to sweat, and I had an urge to rut the older man in front of me. I couldn't find the right words so all I could do was nod, because fuck; I wanted it. I wanted it so fucking bad.

"Naruto, you have to use your words. Do you want me to make love to you?" Iruka prompted me again. As he blew in my ear, I would have agreed to anything… okay, almost anything.

I gulped and wet my dry lips before answering. "Yes, please."

"There are conditions to this. Are you willing to hear my conditions?"

I felt everything drop down and out. Of course, there would be conditions and I was worried about them. "I don't know. What are the conditions?" Yeah, I may be foolish from time to time, but I wasn't going to get trapped by the Prince of Darkness again.

Iruka grinned at me wickedly and little brother really liked the devil in Iruka's eyes. "Only me. No more people on the side. I do NOT play well with others and I do not share my toys. So, you will need to tell anyone who wants a piece of you, “No”. Think you could do that for me? I mean it's not like you've actually had anyone in the past month or so."

My head jerked up hearing that news. Iruka had been spying on me and knew exactly what my current problem was and - fuck. He wanted me. I knew he did. "How long?" I wondered, because I am a glutton for punishment.

Iruka cocked his head to the side and his brow crinkled cutely in confusion. "I don't understand. How long what? How long will I expect your fidelity? As long as we are together."

"No, how long have you liked me?" I clarified. However, it was good to know the other information as well.

"Relax, I'm not a pedophile. I didn't look at you in that manner until you were 18, and I never acted on it," he confessed to me with a shrug of a shoulder.

"I'm not nervous. I just don't understand. I mean - I'm 21 and you said you started looking when I was 18. So, why didn't you act then, like at all?" Even though I was nervous, I wanted to know.

Iruka cocked his head to the side, deep in thought. "I thought that you would need some time to grow as a man. Plus, I didn't know if you were gay or not, then. I preferred having your friendship to nothing at all."

"Yeah, but I'm still not gay. I mean - I'm bi," I admitted to him. Yes, my leanings were more toward men, but the occasional girl still counted (count them, both of them.)

"Exactly. That means I might have a shot. I've already gotten on your bad side, so what is there left for me to lose?" Iruka confessed.

I sighed and scrubbed my head. "You do realize that I gave you the nickname PoD, don't you?"

Iruka blinked a few times trying to understand me. "PoD? What in the world are you on?"

"It's short for Prince of Darkness, which you are," I said with a huff, because it was true.

Iruka gave a thoughtful frown and then smiled at me. "I've been called worse. A lot worse. So much worse that it would turn your ears red with embarrassment."

"You are confusing."

"And you are as cute as a button when you are confused," Iruka teased.

"Evil," I hissed. I did not, could not understand how he could be so – _him_ in that situation.

"Sexy and a touch smitten. So, what do you say?"

"What do I say to what?"

"Kami, you are too sexy and cute when you’re confused. I'm tempted not to tell you," Iruka said with a chuckle.

"Okay, I surrender. I can’t do this anymore. Please, just spell everything out for me so we can - I don't know. Do... something." I flailed my arms in frustration. I couldn't believe the power that Iruka actually held over me.

"Fine, I like you. I would very much like to fuck your delectable ass sometime in the very near future and I would like to be in a magnanimous relationship with you. Meaning you only get me and I only get you," Iruka explained simply.

I sat there blinking, trying to get my mind wrapped around everything that Iruka had just said to me. Which was… was he picking on me? Because this wasn't funny, like; at all. I had to wonder if he had known about my long time crush on him and this was just another way to torture me. I wouldn't put it past him.

"I'm not joking Naruto. So quit giving me the silent treatment and - say something," Iruka huffed. All that did was make me suspicious of his mind reading capabilities.

"What do you want me to say?" I asked cautiously. Yeah, I might be a little insecure (still).

Iruka pulled his hair-tie out and ran his fingers through his hair. "Do you want me? Do you want there to be an ‘us’? Can you leave behind all your bed buddies and settle with a single person? Settle with me?"

I chewed on my lips and truly thought about the answers. "Yes, I want you. Yes, I would like there to be an ‘us’. I've already left them all behind and yeah, if you can live with me having a limp dick, I will settle down with you."

Iruka laughed and pulled me in for a kiss. I will admit it was the hottest most soul-searing kiss I’ve ever experienced. I loved every second of it.

"Your dick doesn't feel that limp to me," he muttered into my mouth, and true enough, little brother was, mostly, alive. Iruka was a miracle worker. He was healing little brother and hallelujah!

Iruka looked at me and laughed. "You should have come to me straight away. I would have taken _very_ good care of you."

"Yeah, I should’ve. I'm sorry. I blamed you for killing him," I confessed. It was best to get all the bad blood and dirt out before they went any further.

"That's okay. I was sure that you were going to blab my secret and I would be shamed out of Konoha."

"Yeah, except you knew mine and now Kakashi knows both of ours. Are we going to have to kill him?" I wondered, because I was down with killing the one who’d first assaulted my senses and then assaulted me.

Iruka shook his head and laughed. "Not worth it. Especially since, he has told more than a few people that Jiraiya was still alive and hiding in Suna. Let me tell you, everyone got a laugh at that. So, even if he blabs, no one will believe him."

"Oh well, there is one dream shot all to hell. May we have sex now? I really miss sex and I’ve always wanted to try sex from the other side of the coin," I pleaded with him.

Instead of answering, he kissed me deeply and ran a hand under my shirt. I felt his nails run across my stomach and shuddered. That shouldn't have felt as good as it did.

"Relax, let me do all the work," he whispered after he pulled out of our kiss. All I could do was nod and chase his lips for more kisses. Kisses that were being denied to me and… okay then, that was okay. Holy shit, I never knew my nipples were that sensitive. I dug my fingers into his hair as his suckled on one of my nipples and rolled the other between his thumb and forefinger.

Moaning? Fuck yeah, I was moaning like a bitch in heat, happily.

"You're really sensitive," he purred as he switched nipples.

"Yeah, just... Kami, more Iruka, please give me more," I groaned as I arched my chest up.

"Shhh, baby. Don't worry, I'll give you more. Do you want me to fuck you? Want me to shove my cock deep into that needy ass yours?" Iruka whispered as he shoved his hands down the front of my pants. Fucking, son of a bitch, dirty talk shouldn’t turn me on as much as it was doing.

"Stop teasing and get on with it," I prompted. Hey, Little Brother was back in action and Iruka was showing an interest in me. Yeah, I was horny and ready to get on with it.

"Well, you need to relax and let me ‘get on with it’," Iruka whispered to me as he fondled my aching balls inside my pants.

The bastard was driving me mad. I swear this was his plan from the get go. My punishment wasn’t the horrid fan fiction or Kakashi or even Little Brother temporarily dying. No, my punishment was sexual frustration!

I groaned and my hips thrust forward as Iruka pulled my cock from my pants proceeded lick and suck it like a melting Popsicle. Oh, my fucking god. He wasn’t deep throating me, but I had never received a better blow job in his life. Holy shit. Iruka’s mouth should be marked as a national treasure.

“Bed, fuck, let’s move to the bed,” I managed to choke out while pulling my future lover away from my straining cock. Heavens knew I didn’t want to, but my legs were beginning to give out and something told me collapsing on your lover was a mood killer.

Iruka stood with a shit-eating grin on his face. Yeah, the fucker knew what my problem was. I pulled him in for another kiss before linking our fingers and pulling him to my bedroom.

As much as I wanted to just lay down and spread myself open for him, the man was wearing far too many clothes for me to be comfortable.

I was happy that he was wearing his civilian clothes rather than his uniform. This way there were fewer clothes for me to remove.

"Eager," Iruka said with a chuckle as I ripped off his shirt and tried to untie his pants. Thanking the Gods that our shoes were at the front door and wouldn’t be a hindrance.

Iruka pushed my chest hard enough to make me fall back. Yes, I was shocked and more than a little worried that I had somehow made a mistake somewhere along the way or that this truly was a prank.

"I told you, let me take care of everything and I meant it," He said as he pulled down his pants and went to my side table.

"How?" I started to ask as he pulled out the bottle of lube that I had thought no one would ever tell about.

"It's amazing what people will tell you if they have had too much sake. Don't worry, I don't think they even remember who they were out with. Do you still want me to fuck you?" Iruka asked as he threw the bottle on the bed next to my hip.

I nodded as I finished shimmying out of my pants. It was a bit frightening, but even more exciting. This was the one thing I had wanted to try with my previous lovers and had long ago given up any hopes of getting.

I couldn't help but whimper when I saw Iruka staring at me. Shaking my head, I bit my lip and spread my legs wide in invitation. Well, I had never been one for subtlety.

My breath hitched as he got on the bed and crawled toward me. Never before had ten seconds seemed like an eternity.

I had actually expected Iruka to fully climb up and kiss me. However, the Prince of Darkness proved my expectations wrong by stopping at my groin and sucking on my balls.

I couldn't help but to spread my legs wider in invitation. I didn't care that I moaned like a porn star, it felt wonderful. I gripped the sheets to keep from gripping Iruka's hair. When he moved to my cock, I seriously wanted to fuck his mouth for fucking ever.

He kept taking my cock deep in his mouth and humming. Each hum brought me that much closer to orgasm. Just as my toes curled and my balls drew up Iruka pulled off my cock with an audible pop.

The sudden loss of suction and the sharp tug to my balls was enough to make my eyes water.

"Iruka," I complained.

"Shh, just taking a break. Don't want you to come until I'm buried balls deep in your sweet ass," the bastard said with a chuckle as he ran a dry finger down my ass crack.

I heard the snap of a lid and then I could feel something wet and cold drip down my ass crack. “Fuck,” I cursed as I tried to shy away from the cold lube Iruka decided to use. Further proof of the PoD’s sadistic leanings.

“Is it cold sweetheart? Want me to warm you up? You have to tell me what you want baby,' the bastard said in a false innocent voice. If he was innocent, I was a virgin.

Still, he was evil enough to withhold it if I didn't say anything. "Please Sensei, Please warm me up and fill me with your cock," I begged.

Iruka hummed in delight as he shoved two of his fingers deep into my hole. It burned, but only just. Iruka had made sure I was relaxed enough to accept the intrusion and I could only moan like a cheap whore as he worked his finger faster and deeper. I wailed when the third finger breached my hole.

I was in heaven. Plain and fucking simple. Well, there had yet to be any actual fucking, but I wanted there to be. "Please... Iruka Sensei, please. I need to feel your cock inside me. Want it, need it," I hissed as I ground down on his fingers, hoping against hope that he would touch that sweet spot inside my ass.

"Fucking hell," Iruka hissed as he slowly worked his fingers within my body. "If I had known you would have begged so perfectly I would have fucked you sooner. How come you never asked me by begging before?"

I groaned. "Didn't think I had a chance. Fuck! Never begged like this. Please sensei; I want you to fuck me... I need you to fuck me."

"I nearly broke when you begged me not to make you read. Wanted to fuck you then and there."

I growled in frustration at him... yeah, growling, that happened. I was getting frustrated as fuck. "Iruka! I swear if you don't get your dick in my ass right now I will get dressed and leave. Begging is over; give me what I want!"

Iruka snorted as he pulled his fingers from my ass. "Should have known you would be a bossy bottom. Let's see how bossy you are once my dick is in you."

I sighed and banged my head against the pillow. "Thirty seconds Iruka and then I am up and out."

Iruka swatted me on my upper thigh before he coated his cock, throwing my legs over his shoulders, and shoved his perfectly hard dick into me one swift thrust. I hissed in displeasure at the sudden intrusion and I seriously wanted to hurt the fucker.

"Hurts, doesn't it? Next time let me take my time and it won't hurt."

I groaned and shifted my ass trying to get comfortable. "Not sure there will be a next time if this doesn’t feel better soon. Look, Little Brother is dying again!"

"Don't call your dick Little Brother. It's... gross and a turn off. You're not a child anymore and you are capable of using adult words."

"I have a special relationship with my dick. He hasn't let me down since I first discovered touching him felt good."

Iruka chuckled and gave a tiny thrust. "I so needed to know that. Right now, I just want to fuck you. Can I move now? Tell me I can move."

I rolled my eyes and sighed. "Fine you can move, but this better start feeling good soon. I don't see what all the noise is about. So far it just feels like I am constipated."

Iruka pulled almost all of the way and then slowly pushed back inside. Each time thrusting at a different angle. "Stroke your cock for me baby. I want to see how you touch yourself when no one is looking."

The pain had lessened as he worked in and out of me. I shrugged, reached over for the lube, put a bit in my palm, and started to stroke my semi-hard cock. The sex still wasn't anything to write home about, but at least my cock was still functional and maybe Iruka would blow me once he got his rocks off.

I stroked my cock in time with Iruka's thrusts and started to get hard again, admittedly more because of my right hand than Iruka. After a few minutes and several strokes, Iruka finally hit a spot inside me that had me screaming.

"Found it," Iruka said with a smirk as sped up and continued to pound my prostate.

"Fuck, please..." I begged. Words were hard to get out, so I hoped Iruka would understand.

"Please what baby? You have to use your words and tell me what you want," the bastard cooed to me.

"Damned bastard. Fuck me harder. Want to feel it. Want you to make me come."

With my words, Iruka thrust faster and harder in my ass. Each time he pushed in, I felt my breath hitch and try to leave my body. I worked my cock with the same speed Iruka worked my ass and I was in heaven. I had needed this for a long time and I finally had gotten it.

"Fuck, come for me baby. Squeeze my cock," Iruka panted out. His thrusts becoming jerky and shallower. He tightened his grip on my legs, tilted his head, and bit on my inner thigh.

Evidentially that bite was all I needed as I screamed incoherently and finally came all over my stomach.

"Fuck yeah," Iruka groaned as he gave one final thrust and emptied his load deep into my ass.

I lay there blinking and wiggling around a bit and trying to get my breath back. After a few minutes, I cleared my throat and adjusted my back. "You forgot a condom." I informed him softly.

"You never said I had to," he said with a shrug. "Do you have a disease?"

Honestly if I could’ve felt my legs, I would’ve kicked him. "I'm clean, in case you're worried."

Iruka eased out of me and carefully put my legs down. "I wasn't worried and I'm clean too. Trust me; if I thought you had something, we would have waited. Now, it's been a long day, time for bed."

I groaned as he flopped down beside me. "Shower first. We don't want to have to scrub the sheets off of us in a few hours."

I moaned as I hauled myself up and out of the bed. Iruka groaned and sat up. “When the hell did you become sensible?”

I had to laugh at my new lover’s bitter tone. "When you were forgetting to look. Come on sensei, if we work it right maybe we can work up to round two in the shower."

Iruka licked his lips and slowly stood. "I'm not as young as you."

"No, you're not, but I'm willing to bet you are much more perverted. Now come here _sensei_. There are a few things I've always wanted to try... and since you're the author who put the thoughts in my head, it's time to own up to them and fuck some experience into me."

I watched as Iruka's eyes lit up and had to smile. In the back of my mind, I canceled all the funeral plans I had made. Now I need to go through Iruka's stories and find out how he knows about some of these kinks. _My Prince_ may be dark, but he sure as hell was sexy.

~Fin~

**Author's Note:**

> Written for DrivvenWrinth's Birthday and 1_Million_Words Rare Pair challenge. Thank you to Drivven for Betaing her own gift. (I did warn you that it had turned into a monster. ;P~ )
> 
> Writing First Person Porn... not that easy!


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